Bladder why do you hate me? 

What did i ever do to you bladder to deserve all this trouble. My bladder is worse than ever, I now have a Catheter in my bladder for 10 days then we will see if my bladder will work on its own. My wee looks like muddy water, I have never known pain like it before. Looks like I never kicked the bladder infection I had before Christmas and it spread to my Kidneys. 

The urologist last night said this is likely to keep happening. I keep seeing normality slipping away from me or at least the normality I wanted. In the grand scheme of things I know this is a small bump in a long road, but right now it feels like a mountain I need to climb over. 

I feel like my body is giving up on me bit by bit and I’m pretty angry. Not much else to say really I’m just tired, angry and sad.